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The Godcast, Episode 324: John Hagee’s Dysentery Narration Gig

Posted on April 13, 2025April 13, 2025 by Godcast

Ready to lose your mind, anon? If not don’t worry, Super already did so you don’t have to. Let’s check in on John Hagee and listen to what the dispie crowd is actually saying. Don’t forget the ibuprofen, you’ll need it for when 200 million orientals march to their deaths at the hands of Nuke Jesus.

In the second half, let’s give a little sympathy for the laymen among the dispies and chat about reaching them the right way.

Direct Download: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/thegodcast/Godcast_324_Final.mp3

The lecture in question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3wLkBm6b_o

The Great Disappointment: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment

If you’d like to support the Godcast and/or The Very Lutheran Project, you can do so here: https://verylutheran.gumroad.com/

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Are jews the chosen people of God? No: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzHB5Caglgo

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Crypto coming soon!

3 thoughts on “The Godcast, Episode 324: John Hagee’s Dysentery Narration Gig”

  1. IamSpartacus says:
    April 14, 2025 at 10:03 AM

    Really looking forward to this one.
    I said it before, we are not limited to just one option of salvation dealership.
    A choice must be made. It better be a wise choice.

    So many people do not even consider making an educated, qualified decision.
    “For every 10 congregants, there is one by choice and nine by inheritance” (I think the Midwesterner Mark Twain gets credit for this one).
    If people change churches, it is because Church B has better programs, potlucks, daycares, sound stage, etc… which, obvious as it is, has precious little to do with the Doctrine.

    Will download later, have a long drive ahead so might even listen 2x.

    Reply
  2. IamSpartacus says:
    April 15, 2025 at 8:18 AM

    Now THAT was intense!

    Superlutheran,

    how about this allegory for you, from an old ground-pounder to the USN vet.

    Commodore Hagee is in charge of the strike group. He has the command of an aircraft carrier, 2 surface to air missile light cruisers, 6 destroyers, 4 Boeing AWACS eye in the sky aircraft and 3 submarines. He maintains a steady course, 140 degrees, puttering along at easy 16 knots.
    Then, a miraculous event occurs.
    One day, Hagee is alerted to an ancient clay amphora bobbing in the prop wash, with faded red wax seal.
    The perfectly preserved parchment is made available to analysts aboard USS Liberty, and the scroll is promptly deciphered.
    He cannot fully explain why him, why now, but he is overcome by a sense of a superior mission.
    The scroll is about Lord King Neptune sending a special envoy, Lady Mermaid (34B).

    Lady Mermaid says:
    “Epistle to Hagee, greetings.
    1 I am sent to the lost dolphins of the Kingdom of Nau’voo.
    2 So that the prophecy will be fulfilled, gather all ye assets close.
    3 The subs should blow all ballast, and all souls shall line up on deck.
    4 The gray ships should open up every hull valve, and all souls should go below the waterlines.
    5 In the fullness of three days, the AWACS birds shall land on top of submarines.
    6 Execute faithfully, in love forever.
    7 Only then, “nunc dimittis, Domine”, the Lord King Neptune will let you sit on his lap.
    8 And thou shall play with his trident, mend his nets and you can also sing harmonies and bask in the warm glow of Mermaid, and there will be no jellyfish.
    9 There will be plenty of calamari, lobster, coconuts and fermented seaweed for everyone, and there will be 5,000 dinghies full of leftovers.
    10 But beware of anyone who plots against ye and casts doubt on the eternal love of Lord Neptune, for he is a blackguard in the service of Eastasia, and in the Davy Jones’ locker he shall be deposited, and if you can get to him before that, kinetically connect a jawbone of an ass with his aorta.
    11 And ye know that all is authenticated, because I speak for King Neptune, your Lord of lords.
    12 Lady Mermaid was put into a diving cage by Eastasian hirelings, and she was torn by Humboldt squid and a bullshark.
    13 Her green blood washed away what King Neptune frowns upon, but somehow she is back, watching what you do.”

    How do we interpret Hagee’s order logs?
    On a broader note, how is one to interpret supernatural occurrences?
    The socks and boots on my feet are easy to explain.
    (((David Copperfield’s))) antics on some stage in Las Vegas are a routine commercial production, skillfully calculated to squeeze shekels out of willing participants and give him some clout.
    But there is a 3rd kind (I’ve never seen one but there are plenty of books about them), the miracles.
    How is one to distinguish between the miracle from the good guy and the trick from the bad guy? Bad guys are reputed to bend (and suspend) the laws of physics to deceive us.
    How is one to tell WITHOUT knowing who is good and who is bad beforehand? Is it like these 1980s Coke v. Pepsi tests? Red label bad, blue label good?

    Reply
  3. Mediocre_Anon says:
    April 15, 2025 at 8:57 PM

    For the record, I think your intro music is much better than Hagee’s

    Reply

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